Total Dehydration Masochism...

12.2 miles

7 pm

Just over 2 hours, several minutes of extra walking.

100.2° heat index


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It was a successful run with a few—let’s say—“technical errors” that manifested in some “hardship.” For one, I got mixed around with an unclear route on the last few miles once I hit the lake near Loyola. I tried to find a path along the lake, but only found sand, which I gingerly traversed as to not get too much into my shoes until I found pavement again. This was a stumbling block in my planning, causing unnecessary slowdown when I needed to be pushing through. But this was not my only planning failure on this, my longest run so far.

Before that, running along the river, abundant water was available, but on the 2.5 miles from river to lake and another mile south on Sheridan, no public water was close at hand. My legs were doing the work alright, but I was starting to get a little too thirsty for comfort. I realized that I was probably still a bit dehydrated from Sean and Stacy’s wedding only two days before.

I contemplated sneaking between houses and turning on a water hose, but decided not to stop for fear of not making it back, only about halfway into the twelve miles or, in other words, as far away from home as possible. In retrospect, I wish I had braved a possible trespassing charge.

Once I hit the lake path, water was around, the sun was down, there was a cool wind blowing, and I only had a few miles to go. And after passing Wilson and crossing under Lakeshore Drive at Montrose, I started to notice a pain in my foot which I hoped was not some kind of annoying fracture that would plague the rest of my training. It was noticeable enough to stop me after Montrose and Broadway, less than a half mile from home.

I had finished. My body was telling me in general fashion how reprehensible my leadership over it had been in the last two hours, but I had done it with no major apparent injury, nonetheless.

I showered and chugged about 3 water bottles full of water and lay down for a few minutes before I had to skedaddle for work at 10:30. And it was at work when my body exacted its revenge.

A little background first: Working the night shift is hard enough. With varying schedules and token days off, where one’s sleep schedule is reversed completely for a day before starting another work period more tired than when one finished the last one, one is always tired. And today happened to be the start of a 3-day work stretch, which meant I had woken up for class around 6:30 am, tried unsuccessfully to nap in the sweltering afternoon heat, ran 12 miles, and then went to work, expecting to then go to class again in the morning immediately following work. (Now, I’m no martyr, I’m only relating this to show how justified the following description of my body’s reaction was to that whole “ran 12 miles” part. This decision clearly doesn’t fit well into the series of events surrounding it, and was, incidentally, the most optional portion thereof. Perhaps I was just taking the venture of overcoming my inner older brother a bit too far, but suffice to say, it was dumb.)

The headache started as soon as I got up from my brief laydown, and didn’t go away until I got back in the morning and took some ibuprofen. My calf muscles, utterly limp, refused to function in any capacity on ascents or descents of stairs. After a stretch of a few tormented 5-10 minute naps on my break, I was subject to a bout of uncontrollable shivering. All night, I had a strange tingling and tightness around my eyes and nose—still completely inexplicable to me. And whenever anyone asked me “how’s it going,” I was completely unable to find a truthful, or even appropriate answer, opting for something like, “Geez...I…I’m not sure.” This was met on more than one occasion with confused looks and follow up questions that I was also unable to answer.

Everything went well, though. I chugged water all night, bypassing the coffee that I so desperately wanted, until I peed again and knew that I’d be alright. I even sat through almost the whole class the next morning.

I tell this story as lesson to all you kiddies out there who drink too much at weddings and work the night shift and go to class in the mornings while also randomly deciding to train for a marathon like an idiot (you know who you are).

Don’t do that. Or at least, don’t do all of that. The best options are to take out the drinking thing or the running thing. One or the other. Not both. Your body will be totally pissed. You do NOT want to upset your body.